Anxiety isn’t always obvious
Anxiety. Just hearing that word can make your heart race. It’s become a buzzword in our post-COVID-19 world — and for good reason. Mental health providers have seen a significant increase in people struggling with anxiety.
But while some anxiety symptoms are easy to recognize — intrusive thoughts, panic, avoidance — others are harder to spot. Anxiety can also mask itself with positivity, high resiliency and success.
Let’s start by recognizing what hidden anxiety can look like, why it matters and how breathing, grounding and other natural anxiety relief tips can improve your mental health.
Anxiety statistics show its true impact
Anxiety is more common and complex than many realize. Before we explore the less obvious signs of anxiety, it’s important to understand just how widespread and misunderstood it really is.
- There was a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, according to the World Health Organization.[1]
- Roughly 31% of adults and 32% of adolescents experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, making it the most common mental health condition.[2,3]
- Most adults with anxiety experience a moderate to severe life disruption, showing that even when symptoms are hidden, the effects are real.[2]
- Nearly 40% of children with anxiety never receive treatment, even though early intervention improves outcomes.[4]
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and CBT-based exercises have shown clinically significant improvement in anxiety symptoms for many children, with some studies reporting response rates as high as 70-80[5]
Surprising signs of anxiety most people miss
Some behaviors we praise in our culture can actually hide high levels of distress. Here’s what that can look like.
1. Always looking for the silver lining
When a storm rolls in, sometimes there’s nothing but black clouds. Similarly, a tragedy or overwhelming life event can cast a big shadow on your mood.
When we’re busy looking for the “bright side,” we aren’t focusing on the present and can’t fully acknowledge the pain we feel in the moment. This kind of forced optimism can come off as inauthentic — and cause disconnection from others rather than validate the difficult emotions present.
2. Always smiling and reporting, “I’m fine”
Let’s face it: Life is hard, and things cannot always be great for anyone. Pretending everything is fine when it’s not is called denial. When we live in denial of our true emotions, we shove them down — also known as emotional suppression.
Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away. Over time, these unprocessed feelings can contribute to deeper issues such as addictions, eating disorders and panic disorders. They can also lead to medical problems such as chronic pain, heart palpitations or autoimmune disorders.
3. Always being the high achiever
No one likes to admit they failed at something. But we all do. No one is perfect. Striving for perfection — always being on time, always getting the best grade, always wanting to be seen as the best — can lead to performance anxiety.
From the outside, high achievers may seem successful. But underneath, they may feel empty or like they’ll never be enough. This pattern can lead to high-functioning anxiety, burnout and depression.
8 anxiety tips to help you relax, breathe and feel more grounded
Trying to stay positive all the time takes a toll — and for many, the exhaustion may signal anxiety. These tips and CBT-based tools can help you recognize what’s going on under the surface and calm anxiety without medication.
1. Use breathing techniques
One of the fastest ways to relax your body is through your breath. If you’re feeling anxious — whether it’s hidden behind positivity or you’re waking up with anxiety — try inhaling for four seconds, holding for four seconds and exhaling for four.
Repeating this breathing exercise for a few rounds can settle your nervous system and create a sense of safety.
2. Don’t rush to find the light
When you catch yourself looking for the silver lining, stop and ask yourself: Is this a moment that needs to be honored for how hard it is? It’s okay to sit in the darkness and allow yourself to really feel it. The light will always come.
Pain and joy survive to define one another. You cannot experience joy without knowing what pain feels like. Allow yourself to feel it and understand that joy can and will come later.
3. Be curious about what you’re feeling
In our mental health treatment centers, we have a saying that to push through a feeling, you must first identify it and allow yourself to experience it.
Ask yourself: What can I learn about myself in this moment? As you practice patience and feel a full range of emotions, you will experience a deeper sense of connection with yourself and others.
This is also a great opportunity to practice using “I feel ...” statements.
- “I feel worried about the future.”
- “I wonder if what I’m feeling is ....”
4. Try a different answer than “I’m fine”
Say anything except “fine,” “good” or “great.” Pick a word or phrase that describes how you’re really feeling. If you’re having a tough day, you don’t have to elaborate and share the details. You can always share more later with someone you trust.
5. Avoid the temptation to keep scrolling
Try not to compare your life to anyone else’s. Most people only post their best moments, and social media is not an accurate picture of how people are doing.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try a few grounding techniques for anxiety:
- Step outside and name five things you can see
- Run cold water over your hands
These simple grounding tools and mindfulness techniques, especially when practiced consistently, can help calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety.
6. Give yourself permission to say no
If you struggle with saying no to others because you’re afraid you’ll lose their approval or affection — so you say yes and are immediately resentful — that’s a clear sign you should give a hard pass on the ask.
When something is asked of you, a good response is, “Let me think about that and I’ll get back to you.” This gives you time to reflect on whether you want to do it.
7. Name the thought
Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. When anxiety tells you, “I’ll fail” or “They’re mad at me,” try saying, “I’m having the thought that ...” before the statement. This is one of many CBT tips that create space between you and the worry, and remind you that intrusive thoughts are not facts, reducing anxiety over time.
8. Try a reframe
Reframing isn’t about sugarcoating things. It’s about broadening your perspective. Instead of “I always mess this up,” try “That was hard, but I got through it.”
Flexible thinking rewires anxious patterns and helps you respond with more clarity and self-compassion. It’s one of the most effective long-term ways to lower anxiety and promote mental health.
When to seek help for anxiety
When anxiety is disguised by positivity or achievement, it can be easy to overlook. But being positive all the time can take a serious toll on your mental health.
Here at Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center, we offer you a full continuum of care led by experts who take the time to understand what you and your loved ones are going through. Using evidence-based therapies like CBT, we offer you practical tools to help you heal.
Anxiety treatment is available in person or virtually from home. Reach out today for a free assessment or call us at 866-622-5914. It just takes one call to get started.